Treasure in the arms of Christ

"In this life I know what I've been, but in your arms I know what I am...my mistakes are running through my mind...when I don't measure up to much in this life...I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ"

I heard this in a song by Sanctus Real while I was driving today and it hit me so hard. I've been struggling lately with guilt and realizing I don't measure up. I messed up and I all I could think was how did I let it happen? How did I fall so far into complacency that I didn't hear God's voice as clearly as I know I should...as I know I want to?? But when I heard this song, I was blown away by the fact "when I don't measure up to much in this life...I'm a TREASURE in the arms of Christ." A treasure?? I just can't even comprehend how after all of the mistakes I've made, God could hold me and see me as a treasure...a precious possession...that's what I am when I'm in His arms. Maybe that's the point. His love is so great, His grace so complete, His forgiveness so final, that He makes me a treasure...makes me something so much more than I could ever be on my own. I still just feel at a loss for words with a love like that. I am nothing, and I too often put myself and my pride and my desires above God, the maker of everything. And yet to Him, I'm a treasure.

Jesus I love you, I need you, broken I come before you....wash me clean. Thank you that I am your treasure...may you always be mine...always.

Forced to be Still

So this week God has been pulling me back to Himself. It's amazing how fast complacency can creep in...before you know it, life, business, and tasks take the place of quietness and seeking God's face. I am so beyond grateful God never stops chasing me. This whole semester has been full of ups and downs, and honestly one of the most stressful semesters I've ever had. This past week, all my friends left for spring break and I stayed back to get in some work hours for my internship. Then.....I got sick. All week feeling terrible, till I finally went to the doctor and he told me I had Mono.

Looking back, it was probably a hilarious scene. This male doctor tells me I have mono and I couldn't help but cry. Yup, right there, tears start rolling down my face and I couldn't stop them (gotta love being a girl). He no doubt felt very awkward and unsure what to do, and I felt embarrassed but completely just to the end of my rope. Mono??? The sickness that lasts FOREVER....well weeks at least, but might as well be forever. Even though I'm 24, I had to call my mom and have her tell me what to do, and I can't wait for her to come down and be taken care of again. But since then, I've spent countless hours sleeping, reading, listening to sermons, Adventures in Odyssey (oh yes), and laying in bed. As awful as it is to feel the way I do, I might have needed this to make myself chill out from life for a while and spend time with God again...get reconnected. I wish it didn't take something like this to get refocused, but God is using it. As a friend reminded me today, it makes the verse "Be still and know that I am God" very real. Today God just reminded me that we are His children, He loves us more than we know, and He's got it all in His hands.

Jesus thank you for who you are. Thank you for never stopping the chase. Renew my passion for you and forgive my complacency, because you are the One who is everything that's worth living for. I love you.